Someone that is close and dear to me asked me something today. “Why are you always keeping to yourself? Why are you detaching yourself from the rest?  What if one day you need help? Nobody will come to your aide.”

I replied: ” What is the point? What else can I do? How to speak up when certain aspects of  my life have to be hidden? What if I speak up? It will only cause worries to others and they may not be able to help me but instead get frustrated from listening. Who really has the patience to listen to me and hear me share all my woes?  The only thing to prevent myself from being disappointed is to simply keep away from gatherings or any socializing events that are of no values or purposes. If anything happens to me, no worries, just let me rot.”

Whenever I need someone, I realize I am still unable to get the attention required regardless of speaking up or not. I do not  want to trouble anyone anymore. People who know me know that I do not talk much and prefer to be quiet around most people unless I am with my loved ones and close friends. I love them so I talk to them and feel more bubbly naturally.

As for now, even if I am facing  problems, I rather hide them all. What is the use of sharing and be subjected to the aloof side of human attitudes? Isn’t it better to keep away and put on a cheerful smile where no one truly knows what is going on in me?