I don’t care anymore.
Why should I worry for all of you and put myself into such emotional states and miseries everytime? Why do I always have to be the one to give it all? Why do I have to be selfless and subject myself to hot and cold treatments?
Sometimes, I can’t help but question myself … What is the point of being nice and good? Everytime, I feel for people, do what it takes to assist or do things for others to make their days … and usually what I receive is bitterness or buckets of my own tears. I try my best to give and instead of realising my efforts, you all ride on them and totally take me for granted. Worse of all pushing me down the cliff of darkness.
Don’t you all even has the little bit of appreciation or is my mere existence doesn’t even creates a little impact? Please don’t come running to me just because you need help or simply treat me as a source of entertainment. It’s like oh I am free, oh I have some free time … then you think of me … Sorry, that’s not how it works.
I will still continue to give and see how much more heartless you all be. Remember there’s a limit to my patience as well. When I am gone, don’t regret because you guys directed me to that path.
If I simply vanish into thin air (though I dislike people simply vanishing on me), that might be the day I have found inner peace by departing into another realm, not heaven, hell or earth, just a place where there is no suffering, just pure love.
It’s 5:38am and I can’t sleep … Very disappointed with the ever changing human attitudes …
