There are lots of elements we can never control in life but those are the ones that hit us the most. The only way to deal with it is not too immerse yourself in deep thinking or in a negative emotional state. I am learning not to let my life be ruined by negative emotions and look at the brighter side of things. Indeed, it is not easy for me to adapt to being more positive but I will try my best.
Expectations only bring disappointment when things cannot be fulfilled. Thus, I will just try to survive and flow everyday till my energy is totally depeted. My mere existence is just to let people realise how fortunate they are when they see what I am going through all these years. Just remember to give me a smile when you have the little free time in your life, I will truly appreciate it.
Being sick these few weeks, though in pain, it was actually a luxury for me. Being dizzy, having bad headaches and cramps made me not think as much. I managed to get more sleep as well from the medication.
Seems like confining myself is inevitable. I thought I can try to chill up, relax a bit and try to spice up my life. I guess the four walls still suit me the most. I will be able to show my true emotions and not let others know what I am really feeling as what they will see, will always be a smile I put on when I step out of these walls. I will keep confining myself till I have the ability to let loose and enjoy life.
To the people around me:
Enjoy your bliss and happiness. Focus on your priorities. Do not need to worry about me. I am used to it. Hopefully sweetness will come by for me in years to come. I will bottle all emotions up and you will see nothing but a girl that has only a smile on her face.
The only thing I can do now is to keep myself alive.
