To Me … Belongs To Me Wholely
I’ve no intention of sharing. What’s mine will solely be mine. 
ALWAYS …
Me, Myself & I
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雖然仍覺得自己活在黑暗里﹐有時候會很沮喪。 但不見得要一直往不好的方向去想。走在街上﹐看見一堆笑臉﹐看見朋友們得到幸福與快樂總會讓我微笑起來。雖然不知道幸福跟我會不會碰面﹐但是知道身旁的人開心也會讓我見到人生的一點兒光芒。時間以慢慢地流失 。。。我是想把生活穩定化。。。 擺脫漂泊的日子。。。
幸福我要的幸福 。。。不由得我控制啦 。。。
我要的幸福 … By Stephanie Sun
為愛情付出 為活著而忙碌
為什麼而辛苦 我仔細紀錄
用我的雙眼 在夢想裡找路
該問路的時候 我不會裝酷
我還不清楚 怎樣的速度
符合這世界 變化的腳步
生活像等待 創作的黏土
幸福 我要的幸福 漸漸清楚
夢想 理想 幻想 狂想 妄想
我只想堅持每一步 該走的方向
就算一路上 偶而會沮喪
生活是自己 選擇的衣裳
幸福 我要的幸福 沒有束縛
幸福 我要的幸福 在不遠處
Heard this song today … infact I’ve heard this song and sang it so many times. Why do I feel so emotional when I hear it now?
Spare me from the “Question” anymore. I have been asked the same question every week since November. I understand it is the normal question one will ask but please spare me from it. It does prick me ’cause I know I can not even dream about it … guess it’s something that I don’t deserve … though deep in me I do think … The “topic” seems to be popping out from everywhere constantly… *Sigh …
Being a person who analyzes in behavioural studies, I know I am not the “Ideal” … based on the profiling I have done. Changes in attitudes and behaviours solidify this point. Thus, no one is to blame and who am I to ask for anything if I do not even fit nicely in the Ideal catergory. It makes me wonder, if someone that fits the profile perfectly and brings about the greatest joy comes along, should I hand over my role? I believe in sacrificing for people I truly care as long as my sacrifices benefit them.
It’s the festive season and a wishlist pops up in my head … Here it goes …
1) 2 pairs of heels (Pumps/Peep-toe) – I need a creamy peachy or nude and a sweet baby pink one
2) Dresses (Pink, Orange and Black) - For the pink and orange, I want something that’s between casual and formal … Something light and fun. For black, I want something classic and simple.
3) A charm bracelet - one that I can add and hang lil charms on it.
4) A hair curler – I wanna play with my hair abit :p
5) A ring – I seldom wear rings or u can say I never really wear rings cause till today I still haven’t found a comfy one that suits me … Still looking out for a nice ring that suits me but maybe I am just not fated to find a suitable comfy ring. If I could afford a pink diamond now … I will get it … hehehe but anything is fine as long as it makes me feel good wearing it.
6) Attention – I wish I can get the desired attention … hmm
… Shall add to the list when more items pop up … Oh Santa! Will you make my wishes come true?
想靠岸的水手, 見到岸卻靠不過去﹐風浪確起的更大。繼續漂泊中 … 幾時才能漂到穩定與堅固的港口﹖
你在夢與現實中遊走
我在回憶與往事中思索
我無法看穿你的眼眸
愛要多麼深濃才算足夠
愛恨交織佔據了心頭
淚水掩藏不住多脆弱
我心有多痛
你不會懂
也許孤單滄桑了太久
才會讓人忘了曾經感動
毫無保留卻故作灑脫
執著守候你卻沈默依舊
何時才能卸下了枷鎖
收容我在你心中停留
從此一生相守
別無所求
我在浩瀚情海沈浮已久
哪裡才是海的盡頭
像紅塵俗世的一葉孤舟
我在浩瀚情海沈浮已久
愈是掙扎愈是感覺空洞
何時才能擁有美麗入夢
想靠岸的水手
想靠岸的水手
心不再漂泊
靠岸的水手
只為你停留
最近﹐雖然憂鬱的現象已經減少了很多但是突然又有了一些恐懼感。 我一直很努力的做每件事但還是沒法受到肯定。 我還需要多做什麼才能夠達到我的目標。 奇怪的是挫折一直纏繞著我。告訴自己不要那麼悲觀了﹐有些事情不由得我控制。開心的事當然有﹐也真的很甜蜜 。。。好想擁有更多這些時光但往往還是回到了另一輪等待與期待。和朋友聚會與聊天時﹐發現自己真的老了﹐卻還是沒什麼“成就”。。。 誰不想得到幸福啊﹖
我其實是個很安靜的人﹐在很熟悉或愛的家人﹐朋友們才會活躍和多聊起來。最矛盾的是﹐我卻把很多事情藏在心裡﹐好想跟大家分享我一些私生活但有怕別人的疑問﹐也許是覺得自己的身份還是很模糊﹐很沒安全感吧。 我真的不想躲﹐想要得到光芒啦。
對未來﹐我有些期待但有不敢說出來﹐ 萬一不是我想要聽到的答案﹐我怕我會更失望。 我還是會努力的過生活也希望漂泊的我﹐很快能夠靠岸﹐享受普通人幸福簡單的生活。
說著說著。。。我又哭了 。。。 哭過就會好多了。
Dangling … that’s how I feel right now. It’s not a good feeling but it’s something I have to face. Who doesn’t want to have a strong hold to the things they want? I do not feel lost but I do want to slightly grab a hold of my future. Of course, no one knows what the future will be like but there should be some concrete plans made and adjusted according to what life brings us. Dangling makes one feel insecure. I do have some desires and wants. Time waits for no one … yet again …
Do you see what I see?
